If you want a fine example of how private equity works, look no farther than “Goodfellas,” the 1990 New York mobster movie starring the late Ray Liotta. In the film, a restaurant owner is having financial problems and turns to the neighborhood wiseguy (Paulie) for support, asking him to invest in the business. Pauly agrees, leading to the protagonist of the movie, Henry Hill, to explain what happens next:

“Now the guy’s got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy’s gotta come up with Paulie’s money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me.”

The BIG12, a member of the Group of Seven (they don’t seem to know this yet), is now considering a $1B infusion of cash from Luxembourg-based CVC Capital Partners in exchange for a 20% stake in the conference. This wouldn’t be CVC Capital Partner’s first dip into sports – it purchased the Indian Premier League cricket franchise in 2021, which must have been a good move because the franchise’s value has increased by more than $3B last year.

Now that college sports is officially a bag grab, it only makes sense that conference greed and corporate greed should unite. Somebody’s gotta get rich, right? So why not the wealthy? Whatever purity college athletics has clung to for well over a century means zippo now. It’s all gross – in profit and morality, from ESPN compromising their impartial integrity to launch a sports gambling platform, to NIL Collectives soliciting money from fans while leaving broadcasters and apparel companies off the hook. Just take my money.

By the way, you know that restaurant owner in Goodfellas? He ended up forced to sell the restaurant to Paulie, who then burned it down for the insurance money. At least somebody made bank.

IMAGE: AI Monstrosity