Is he impossible to replace? Does his presence on the field alter the opponent’s game plan? If he fails to do his job, are the results catastrophic?

The Transfer Portal giveth, yes, but the transfer portal also taketh away, as we are all at the terrible mercy of mad whims, delusions of grandeur and hurt feelings.

I’d totally watch a 6-episode Ted origin story. When did he buy that recliner? Where does he work? Does he even know how many children he has?