Statistically, very few people at any given moment are Kung Fu fighting, even in 1974, when Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting was released. The song is a paragon of hyperbole, surpassed only by It’s Raining Men. However, in 2025, within the Sun Belt Universe, specifically in the galaxy of men’s basketball, everybody really is kung fu fighting in an attempt to broker favorable positions in the SBC’s deliciously draconian tournament format.

To the uninitiated, all fourteen Sun Belt teams make the tournament. The better you finish in the regular season, the fewer games you must win to become champion. The first and second seeds are instantly awarded entry into the semifinals. The eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth seeds open the tournament on March 4th and would have to win seven (7) consecutive games to be named Sun Belt Men’s Basketball Champion (the same format is also afforded to the Women) on March 10th.

I honestly haven’t seen a format this punishing since “Honey” Roy Palmer was tasked to defeat ten boxers in one day in Diggstown. Ru had better odds of winning the Hunger Games than ULM has at wearing the Sun Belt crown. Whoever devised this diabolical torture machine should be both venerated and jailed. It’s the kind of entertainment the ancient Romans enjoyed on holiday afternoons when only blood sated the terrible thirst of gods.

As a result, every remaining game is pregnant with meaning, especially now that we are down to the last two contests. Six teams have a fair to outside shot at finishing the season in first place – James Madison, South Alabama, Troy, Arkansas State, Appalachian State and Marshall. Depending on how the dice rolls, Georgia State, Louisiana and Texas State could could find themselves in a fairly cushy 5th and 6th seed. Old Dominion, Georgia Southern and Southern Miss can still – in theory that can only be defined on the quantum level – have shots to shave at least one game from their toll.

The only two teams inked for March 4th games are ULM and Coastal Carolina, but the schedule is consequential for both. The Chanticleers finish the season at home with Georgia State and Old Dominion, two teams hoping to slice at least two games off their tournament ledger by winning out. The Warhawks can do significant damage to the conference’s upper tier, hosting James Madison and Arkansas State. A loss to ULM could possibly bounce the Red Wolves from the top four seeds. Should the Dukes lose to ULM, it would have to defeat Texas State to ensure its place in the top two (depending on too many factors to count). Don’t discount the Warhawks. Not only has ULM defeated South Alabama twice, these will be the last two games in Monroe ever for outgoing coach Keith Richard, who has helmed the Warhawks since 2010. Pride and legacy are helluva set of motivators.

And then there’s Texas State, placed smack dab in the middle of the standings and positioned to make life miserable for the teams hovering above it. Last week, the Bobcats wrested South Alabama from a first-place knot with James Madison. Now it finishes the season in San Marcos hosting Troy and James Madison. No programs in the Sun Belt have more control for how the conference seeds its top performers than ULM and Texas State. Sun Belt Entropy is without equal!

Enjoy this modern Roman Colosseum of dismemberment, disembowelment, and decapitation. The only gesture more appropriate would be for the referee to open the game by dropping a mace at center court instead of the traditional ball toss. Though the broadswords and battle axes may be figurative, heads will roll. And we won’t have to wait until March 4th to satisfy our bloodlust, as the games unofficially begin on Tuesday, when Appalachian State takes on Georgia Southern.

Photo Credit Kaden Gumbs, Texas State