There is no act of kindess that would demoralize Memphis Tigers fans more than accepting an offer (or even receiving an offer) to join the Sun Belt, but that’s not a deal breaker. After all, nobody gives a flying shit about how fans feel, anyway. Do you think fan sentiment was consulted when the BIG 10 decided that Oregon and Rutgers should be conference rivals? Money is the only variable, living on both sides of the equal sign.

Make the pitch, Sun Belt. Just seal the envelope and lick the stamp, Keith Gill. The absence of Texas State creates an imbalance out west, and who better to fill the vacuum than Memphis, a program Arkansas State despises and is a bus ride away for most of the Western Division (at least for the band; sorry, band)?

Make the pitch, Sun Belt. The Tigers need it more than you think. They’ve been burned by the Big East, spurned by the Big 12, ignored by the ACC, and paid lip service from the PAC12. Their current conference, the American Athletic, is hardly a shell of its past glory, raided for parts. Think of the trauma all this abandonment has done to the Tigers! What Memphis needs is stability – a conference that is not only growing in overall ability but is firmly fused by geography and rivalry. Accept our paternal hand, Memphis; feel loved in our maternal embrace.

Make the pitch, Sun Belt. As my old philosophy professor once said, “the worst she can say is no.” Tell them that they’d likely do well in the SBC West (don’t mention last year’s home loss in basketball to Arkansas State, tho). Tell them they’d be the only university in the system playing basketball in an NBA venue and football in a UFL stadium. Make a big deal about that! They take odd pride in such things.

Make the pitch, Sun Belt. Their fans will groan “what about the BIG12” but just power past that delusion. Tigers fans are highly aspirational, but eventually they’ll be won over by stoic pragmatism. Joining the Sun Belt just makes incredible sense for Memphis, and if they want to drag UAB and ECU, more power to us. Ours is a welcoming tent.

If Memphis says no, go ask Vanderbilt.

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