The Glory Days Conference has no divisions. They just randomly play each other, with each pointing to a victory over the other as ironclad proof of its Playoffs legitimacy. We’ll name somebody ridiculous to be conference commissioner – like Mack Brown. Design of the logo will bear a distinctly 1990s feel. As a preemptive action, we’ll secure separate TV rights for each team instead of a conference channel, because, you know, Texas.

Life champion aside, Butch Jones is a legitimate football champion. He replaced Brian Kelly at both Central Michigan and Cincinnati, and he delivered two conference championships for both programs. He signed the No. 7 recruiting class in the nation in 2014 and the No. 4 recruiting class in the nation in 2015. Overall, Butch Jones is 84–54 (34-27 at Tennessee) with four bowl victories.

The first game under Coach Perkins was a 0-49 loss to Toledo. The Indians didn’t score a single point until game 4, against Southern Illinois in Jonesboro. I was at that historic game. The moment we scored, a message appeared on the scoreboard “WE FINALLY SCORED!” It was cause for celebration. We rode that score to a 42-38 victory.