College athletics has become a sequel of sorts to the 1994 Danny Boyle semi-classic film Shallow Grave, which is about three very good friends who become murderous, backstabbing enemies once a big duffle bag of dirty cash enters their lives. Since the day ESPN realized that any college sport has broadcast value, loyalty and civility have departed college sports like air squeezed from a balloon animal. We’ve been digging our own shallow graves for decades now.

We saw the biggest betrayal a couple seasons ago, when the Power programs viciously turned on one of their own, savagely plucking the most valuable pieces of the PAC12 for themselves and leaving two of its least desirable to twist in the wind. It was pure torture porn to watch, seeing the former “Conference of Champions” sold off for parts to the greediest entities capitalism has ever produced.

The Mountain West took pity on the PAC12 leftovers and welcomed them into the fold – temporarily of course. Oregon State and Washington State probably believed it was only a matter of moments before they’d be called to buttress the Big 12 or possibly the BIG10. Both conferences remained churlishly silent, and the Beavers and Cougars did what (former) power programs do best – plant a hatchet in their benefactor’s head.

Last year, Washington State and Oregon thanked the Mountain West by robbing its gracious host, this time to form a new but pale facsimile of the PAC12. The new members: Boise State, Utah State, Fresno State, San Diego State, and Colorado State (basically, any State was welcome). Later, Gonzaga decided to join for reasons that aren’t clear to me. Maybe the Zags are bored.

What’s the appeal of joining this traitorous assemblage of mercenary programs? The much mightier and beloved version of the PAC12 couldn’t come up with a half-decent broadcast deal. Is this shadow PAC12 any more appealing? Does anyone believe that as soon as the Big 12 decides to make an offer to Washington State and Oregon State, those two would bail on the rest the conference immediately? Do any of these partner schools realize they are nothing more than packing material meant to prop the up the Beavers and Cougars’ value?

The Mountain West was a strong conference with a reasonable footprint. Had it held together, it would have been in fine position to marshal real power. Who knows? Maybe Oregon State and Washington State would have eventually realized that being a resident of the Mountain West would be better than being a guest. Whatever.

With only seven football members, this Pretend PAC12 needs more meat. Who’s available? Not a lot of great fits. UNLV and New Mexico State fit the profile, and since the Mountain West is currently a vegetable, they may as well pretend to be in the Pretend PAC12. That would be nine.

Rumored to be a tenth? Texas State, a geographical outsider in the firmly established Sun Belt Conference and obviously blushing to be included in the conversation. You may recall that before the Sun Belt invited the Bobcats into the fold, Texas State was a plucky, wide-eyed FCS program looking to elevate. The Sun Belt was patient with Texas State as it shook of its old FCS habits and steadily became a legit FBS program in all major sports. The Bobcats are a Sun Belt success story. Perhaps they don’t see it that way in San Marcos.

In the Shallow Grave Age of College Sports, Texas State bailing on the Sun Belt for the Pretend PAC12 would be the typical move. There might be more money! That’s pretty funny, tho. Something as useful as money is only for the BIG10 and SEC. But who knows? Maybe there’s money. But to move from the Sun Belt to the Pretend PAC12 is like abandoning a fertile farm to live on the lip of a volcano. Good luck with that.

I could be misreading the tea leaves. Once Washington State and Oregon State betray this Pretend PAC12, everyone might just be better off. The remaining programs could reassimilate the rest of the Mountain West with no hard feelings because now it can use the name brand “PAC12.” This could all be a play for the rights to a URL address.

Whether Texas State remains or leaves the Sun Belt, the SBC will shrug. There is no shortage of programs (many of which are better geographical and rival fits) who are eager to join a well established, well managed conference. Personally, I sincerely wish Texas State nothing but the best.

IMAGE CREDIT: AI Thing